How To Have Anal Sex: A Step by Step Guide

We’re nearing the end of August – which means we’re also nearing the end of Anal August. Did you know that’s a thing? Well, now you do.

It’s 2021 and more and more people are discussing *and having* anal. Whether they’re pros at it or just experimenting, anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable for both parties involved. 

If you’re new to anal, are about to start experimenting, or simply just want to learn more about the wonders of anal sex, you’re in the right place. So sit down, grab a cup of coffee, and let’s get into things. 

There are lots of aspects that need to be taken into consideration when practicing anal sex. For a long time, anal sex was a complete taboo, often viewed as exclusive to the gay men community. But now, it’s becoming more accessible (in more ways than one) to all, thanks to our progressive views of sex and sexuality. 

Anal sex can be daunting if it’s your first time. And so it’s important that you’ve discussed it properly with your chosen partner, and that you’ve maintained open communication and healthy boundaries. It’s an important conversation to have because you want to be comfortable when having anal sex. The more comfortable you feel, the more enjoyable it will be – especially when done correctly (yes, anal orgasms are a thing). 

Having sex for the first time isn’t going to be like what you see in porn. Let’s keep it real here. They’re actors and professionally work up to their scenes using lots of lube, practice, and dilators. But that doesn’t mean your first time (or 100th time), won’t be enjoyable. 

How To Have Anal Sex – A Step by Step Guide

#1 So let’s start here: Lube is your best friend.

Lube should be generously and frequently applied for anal, because anuses, unlike vaginas, don’t self-lubricate. So, er, going in without a good amount of lube on the bootyhole is a big no-no. The rectum only produces a very small amount of mucus, so it’s not at all enough to accommodate anal penetration. Secondly, anuses don’t stretch easily, and anal tears hurt.

Anal sex without the correct lubrication can also lead to fissures, which can be really, really sore. So yeah, stick to a lube – and CBD ones can be great! Especially for relaxation and extra comfort if you’re nervous for your first, er, session. 

#2 Secondly, take things very slowly.

It’s always good to practice foreplay beforehand to get you all heated up. Using fingers to insert into the anus, or small sex toys (not small enough to get stuck!), to loosen the anus can be a great start. It also gives you a (small) feel for what you’re going into. Some couples enjoy rimming – which is where your partner uses their tongue on your anus (or vice versa!). This can be a great way to explore that part of your body before sex, and it can be super hot. 

It’s important that you are open with your partner about how you’re feeling before, during, and after anal sex. And that you know that it is completely okay to pull out (literally) and tell them that you want to stop if it’s not for you.

If it is for you, it’s vital that you practice safe sex. This means doing your best to avoid STDS like HIV, which is a blood-borne virus. It’s especially transmittable via anal due to the possibility of tears. It is also possible to get gonorrhea and herpes by doing anal, as well as exposure to hepatitis, which can be transferred by poop. 

#3 Important Rules

Oh, and you absolutely do not want to go from anal sex to vaginal sex – nobody wants UTIs or bacterial vaginosis.

But don’t worry, because these conditions are avoidable simply by using condoms, which are also cleaner to use. You should however be cautious of what lube can be used with latex condoms, so that you don’t get an unfortunate reaction during an already nervous time. 

If anal hurts you, it’s important that you stop immediately. It means your body is not happy with you. So go slow, stop when you need to, and as mentioned above, use lots and lots of lube. And we mean using it generously. Trust us. 

While all of this information might be lots to digest, anal sex can be incredible. While it doesn’t do it for all, for some people, sensational orgasms are experienced. 

The Bottom Line

There are lots of different ways to try anal – the most important being that it’s right, and comfortable for you. Many people decide to go straight in with doggy-style, but this can mean the penis goes quite deep into the anus due to the angle. So, sometimes spooning can be a better starter position – and what’s more intimate. 

The recipient doesn’t need to be facing away though; both the cowgirl position and missionary is also possible during anal sex. It’s all about what works for you and your partner(s). 

Your most enjoyable experience with anal will be when you are feeling calm and relaxed. CBD can be a great way to ensure you are feeling this sense of wellbeing – especially by using oils, CBD lubricants, and even anal suppositories


What’s most important is that you and your partner trust each other, because anal sex can be a big step. 

But remember that no means no, and that you should absolutely stop if you don’t like it. Don’t allow anyone to put pressure on you to do anything sexually (or anything else, for that matter), that you don’t want to do.

After all, a partner you trust, and a partner who respects you and your boundaries, is a partner you’ll have good sex with. 


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