The COVID-19 pandemic took an awful lot away from us. Off-site schooling, working from home and FaceTiming your friends have become the new normal. Returning to the ‘old days’ still seems unfathomable, as we’re holding onto what little hope we have left by booking bottomless brunch for June 2025. (I think I’m free…)
A lot of people – including us at Dani Pepper – are becoming frustrated about the fact that sex seems to have slipped under the radar. While we’re fixated on face masks and spotlighting social distancing, our sex lives seem to have suffered – greatly.
Most of us have needed to cope without sex for an entire year. We at Dani Pepper want to emphasize how vital physical intimacy can be for you, your partner or your partners. Long-term relationships have suffered, casual flings have waned and individuals have been left in involuntary isolation. Sex is essential for human connection and mental wellness – yet the focus has seriously shifted away from it.
Looking for advice on how to maximize your self-pleasure? Wondering how to enhance your partner’s orgasms? Seeking help for a low libido? You’ve come to the right place. Here are 5 tips on how to reignite your sex life (when everything else has gone to sh*t).
1.Trial-and-Error With Tantric Sex
Tantra is the ancient South-Asian practice of combining yogic mindfulness with physical intimacy. The word ‘tantra’ originates from Sanskrit and means ‘to weave’. The purpose of tantric sex is literally to intertwine energies with your partner(s) – without focusing on the end goal of an orgasm.
This is an exploratory practice defined by how we experience pleasure. For some, lack of libido can be defined by struggling to reach the ultimate ‘O’. Whether that’s because they can’t cum, or simply don’t want to. Tantra shifts the focus onto staying present and truly feeling every sensation, whether sexual or not. It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.
The practice is designed to be slow and steady. While in a long-term relationship, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of one-and-done sex – fraught orgasms with little-to-no aftercare. Tantra is all about taking it easy, investing time into your sex and really experiencing it in the moment.
Tantric guides recommend you spend time preparing your space before beginning the practice. Dim the lights, place some pillows on the floor, filter in the music of your choice. Make your space feel safe; like it’s yours. During the practice, you may alternate between sexual and non-sexual touch, depending on how you’re feeling.
2.Treat Yourself To A Toy
Solo sex is one of the most criminally underrated and undiscussed forms of self-care. In a survey conducted by Statista, 78% of vagina-owners currently own a sex toy. In the middle of a devastating pandemic (where everything is just a little bit sh*t right now), making yourself feel as good as possible should be your no.1 priority.
Orgasms are essential for our emotional wellbeing. The act of cumming releases a hormone called oxytocin into the blood, which explains why we feel elated and blissfully sleepy after a really big ‘O’. Self-love is amazing for clearing your mind, calming down and truly unwinding.
Why not optimize your orgasms with a brand new toy? Just as you’d invest in an upmarket makeup palette, expensive new sweater or luxury essential oil; buying an all-singing, all-dancing sex toy of your own is an act of empowerment!
Alternatively, introducing sex toys to the bedroom can be an exciting new venture for partnered or multi-partnered sex. It encourages you to discuss your needs in depth, while staying in-tune with your partner’s emotions – and exploring at the same time!
Speaking of staying in-tune…
Lack of communication can be a sure-fire way to kill your libido. Now, I totally get it. You’re in the middle of lockdown, forced to live on top of someone* twenty-four hours a day, the last thing you want to do is sit down with them and engage in awkward conversation about Where It All Went Wrong.
Its time to face the facts, though. If miscommunication has forced you into a situationship stalemate, try opening up to your partner(s).
If you’re feeling smothered by their constant presence and you miss your independence; communicate that.
If you’re feeling neglected because you no longer have that work/life balance; communicate that.
If you feel as if you’re getting into a routine with your sex (set menu: two minutes of missionary followed by a boob grab and a cuddle) and you want to spice things up; communicate that!
A little conversation goes a long way, trust us.
*(not literally, of course. This is the problem.)
Single people and those in situationships; we haven’t forgotten about you.
The government have pushed these new rules harder than Dua Lipa. You’ve probably found yourself feeling lonely, isolated and forlorn. Occasionally, you get tempted. After a year of minimal interaction, we’ve all experienced moments of ‘okay, screw it. I’m just going to get laid’. We’re human beings, after all. The best thing we can do in that moment is to stay safe.
Now, ‘staying safe’ means something different for everyone. Some people may choose to ignore their temptations and carry on social distancing. Some may decide to meet up with their person and incorporate them into their support ‘bubble’. Some may engage in that casual hook-up; taking kissing, oral and missionary off the menu.
Whatever safety looks like for you, make sure you’re looking after your physical and mental wellness while you’re doing it. Nothing is more important than you!
Liven Up Your Libido With Lube
Introducing lube to a partner/your partners needn’t be a trying task. People choose to use lube in different ways, and it isn’t a bad thing!
While some people find lube incredibly helpful with counteracting conditions like Vaginismus, vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction; lube can be used by absolutely anyone. At Dani Pepper, our ‘O’ by Dani Pepper Orgasm Enhancer blends an intoxicating amount of aphrodisiacs with calming CBD to create the blissful boost you need in the bedroom. Our CBD Lube is water-based; meaning it works with silicone and latex condoms and toys, as well as feeling gentle on your genitals.
Lube helps to heighten orgasms, and you can even get different lubes for different sensations. Heating, cooling, tingling… the world is your oyster. We’d recommend browsing different lubes with your partner(s) to blend sexiness and communication in one sitting. Enjoy!
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